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Film: BACHELORETTE

Director: Leslye Headland

Actors: Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan, 

James Marsden, Rebel Wilson, Adam Scott, Kyle Bornheimer

Year: 2012

This flick had a lot of potential, but there were multiple problems along the way. I didn't understand the relationship between the three girls and the bride. It seemed odd and forced. Were they really friends? Why did she ask them to be in her wedding? It seemed like they didn't like her... nor she them. We never delved into the bride's insecurities or reasons for wanting to keep them as friends. Kirsten Dunst's character is very strange too. I can't figure her out. She seems like an unhappy bore. Honestly, I don't even see the connection between the three bridesmaids. Why are THEY friends? All three are good actresses, but the casting seems to be off. They don't seem to like one another. Rebel Wilson (the bride) is totally miscast. She is becoming quite popular, particularly since her American debut in "Bridesmaids", but I'm not on board this train yet. She comes across as a novice. I know... she IS a novice, but a good actor can hide it well. With casting aside, I think the writer/director/producers should have made more of an attempt to build characters. There was a lot of raunchy jokes, but it wasn't enough. You can make up for lack of character depth. "Bridesmaids" worked because there was a real story behind the hilarious antics. This film, though not awful, is really not worth a rental price. Maybe catch it when it makes it's prime-time network debut. 

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Film: DEATH TO SMOOCHY

Director: Danny DeVito

Actors: Edward Norton, Robin Williams, Catherine Keener, Danny DeVito, Jon Stewart, Michael Rispoli

Year: 2002

You would think that the film, with a cast that includes the likes of Catherine Keener, Edward Norton, and Robin Williams... AND a director that gave us "War of the Roses", "Hoffa", and "Throw Momma From the Train", would bare some resemblance to a decent flick. Not At All!!! "Death to Smoochy" is poorly written and Williams and Norton give over-the-top performances. Skip this turkey!

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Film: THE GREEN HORNET

Director: Michel Gondry

Actors: Seth Rogen, Jay Chou, Christopher Waltz, Cameron Diaz, Tom Wilkinson, Edward James Olmos

Year: 2011

I'm sure you've heard this before, but I want to reiterate. DON'T SEE THIS TERRIBLE FILM!!!! It is truly one of the worst flicks I've subjected myself to in a long time. I barely could get through it. I'm a Seth Rogen fan and Christopher Waltz was excellent in "Inglourious Basterds", but I am very disappointed.

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Film: SPICE WORLD

Director: Bob Spiers

Actors: Emma Bunton, Geri Halliwell, Melanie Brown, Melanie Chisholm, Victoria Beckham, Alan Cumming, Elvis Costello, Jason Flemyng, Stephen Fry, Richard E. Grant, Bob Hoskins, Hugh Laurie

Year: 1997

If a cheesy, overly-produced girl group weren't enough, they had to make a stupid, pointless movie to go along with their insane success. The Spice Girls unleashed this horrible piece of crap on the world and, guess what, little girls ate it up. I think they were going for a parody of some sorts, but this just turned out worthless. It's not worth the watch, honestly. It isn't even one of those 'it's so bad, it's good' films. It's so bad... it's just bad.

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Film: GODZILLA

Director: Roland Emmerich

Actors: Matthew Broderick, Hank Azaria, Maria Pitillo, Jean Reno, Vicki Lewis, Kevin Dunn, Michael Lerner, Harry Shearer, Doug Savant

Year: 1998

This really had the potential to be a good action flick, but something (or someone) fell short. It's boring and pretty lame (in the special effects category). If you're looking for this kind of film... aka a monster movie, watch 2008's "Cloverfield" or even 2007's "The Mist".

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Film: GREASE 2

Director: Patricia Birch

Actors: Michelle Pfeiffer, Maxwell Caulfield, Lorna Luft, Maureen Teefy, Didi Conn, Christopher McDonald, Pamela Adlon, Eve Arden, Sid Caesar, Adrian Zmed

Year: 1982

In an effort to capture the magic of the 1978 original, "Grease 2" was released. I've seen this film quite a few times, each one to see if maybe I can find something good. The only thing that saves this film from being the absolute worse thing to hit the silver screen is Michelle Pfeiffer (and honestly, her singing is atrocious). This movie follows Michael (Caulfield), who happens to be Sandy's (Olivia Newton John) cousin. He too has transferred to Rydell High and falls for an American greaser (Pfeiffer). It just doesn't do it for the audience. The story is tired, the cast is okay, and you won't really get into it. I'd recommend just skipping this turkey. **Lorna Luft, who plays Paulette... is the daughter of Judy Garland and producer Sidney Luft.

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Film: RED RIDING HOOD

Director: Catherine Hardwicke

Actors: Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Virginia Madsen, Julie Christie, Shiloh Fernandez, Max Irons, Lukas Haas, Billy Burke

Year: 2011

I was really excited when this arrived from Netflix. I thought, it's Catherine Hardwicke (who I like from "Thirteen" and "Twilight") and how can you go wrong with Gary Oldman and Julie Christie? Boy was I wrong. I was bored out of my mind. I split the viewing up into two sections because I found myself flipping through a magazine. This had so much potential, but it came tumbling down due to terrible writing. The dialogue was cringe-worthy. What a waste of two hours.

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Film: THE X-FILES: FIGHT THE FUTURE

Director: Rob Bowman

Actors: David Duchovny, Gillian Anderson, Martin Landau, Mitch Pileggi, Blythe Danner, Terry O'Quinn, Armin Mueller-Stahl, Lucas Black

Year: 1998

The television show was excellent, but I'm not sure where the writers were going with this confusing and, often times, boring feature film. The story is just bad. If you want the thrill of extra-terrestrials mixed with a little Mulder and Scully, then Netflix instant watch the show or even check out the film sequel, "The X-Files: I Want to Believe", which was a hell of a lot better.

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Film: YEAR ONE

Director: Harold Ramis

Actors: Jack Black, Michael Cera, Oliver Platt, David Cross, Vinnie Jones, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Hank Azaria, Juno Temple, Olivia Wilde

Year: 2009

There's a good chance you've never even heard of this horrendous piece of crap and if not, consider yourself lucky... oh, and sorry for bringing it to your attention. Harold Ramis (of "Ghostbusters" fame) went terribly wrong with this plot-less, pointless, unfunny flick. Jack Black and Michael Cera probably were just in for the payday (and I hope it wasn't based on gross because this bombed at the box office). It's not worth your time. Skip it!!!

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Film: THE BOUNTY HUNTER

Director: Andy Tennant

Actors: Jennifer Aniston, Gerard Butler, Jason Sudeikis, Christine Baranski, Siohban Fallon

Year: 2010

First of all, it's very risky to sign two 'box-office weak' actors to headline a film. The only way that will work is if you have a big name draw. Aniston and Butler are okay (I guess), but neither possess the 'it' needed to attract a large audience. The story was boring and very predictable and well, there isn't much more to say. I was bored and barely even finished it. Skip it please!

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Film: QUEEN OF THE DAMNED

Director: Michael Rymer

Actors: Aaliyah, Stuart Townsend, Marguerite Moreau, Vincent Perez, Lena Olin

Year: 2002

It's very sad that this was Aaliyah's last film because this was a hell of a way to be remembered. This film is awful... and I'm being kind. Forget the boring, cheesy, pointless storyline... let's talk about the acting. In one word, sh*t! Every member of the cast chews the scenery to bits and it makes this flick really hard to sit through. This was supposed to be the awesome follow-up to 1994's "Interview with a Vampire", but it fell very flat. The producers should have known something was amiss when they couldn't recruit original 'Lestat', Tom Cruise. I'm not joking when I say skip this horrible flick.

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Film: SWEPT AWAY

Director: Guy Ritchie

Actors: Madonna, Adriano Giannini, Bruce Greenwood, Elizabeth Banks, Jeanne Tripplehorn, Michael Beattie, David Thornton

Year: 2002

I always make it a point to see the movies that get panned. I wanna see for myself what the fuss is all about. I made a mistake with this one. Everything critics were saying was true. I was highly disappointed in one of my favorite directors, Guy Ritchie and I cringed every time Madonna was on screen (which was 98% of the time). I would have made this a miscast (Madonna), but I honestly don't think changing the actor would have made much difference. The story was bland and shallow and, despite what you may think, watching a movie that takes place on a deserted island beach is not that interesting. I'm definitely advising against this stinker. It's just a waste of time.

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Film: LAW ABIDING CITIZEN

Director: F. Gary Gray

Actors: Jamie Foxx, Gerard Butler, Colm Meaney, Leslie Bibb, Regina Hall, Bruce McGill, Josh Stewart

Year: 2009

I'm pretty disappointed with Gerard Butler. He's really been in some heinous movies in the last few years. Anything for a payday, right? "Law Abiding Citizen" is tired. Very predictable and just plain ridiculous. After a man's wife and child are murdered, the men responsible are given a plea bargain. The angered man decides to take matters into his own hands. He doesn't stop there though. He goes after the prosecutor, judge, and anyone else involved with the case. It's absurd. The fact that he has all this access to all these people is laughable. It's not a good movie, so skip it. If you are in the mood for a great revenge film, check out either of the "Kill Bill" flicks or "Man on Fire".

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Film: PAYCHECK

Director: John Woo

Actors: Ben Affleck, Uma Thurman, Aaron Eckhart, Paul Giamatti, Michael C. Hall, Kathryn Morris, Ivana Milicevic, Joe Morton, Colm Feore

Year: 2003

While this isn't the worst film ever made, it wasn't keeping my interest. This can be added to the string of bad films Ben Affleck was doing in the early 2000s (i.e. "Reindeer Games"). It was a nice try by action director John Woo, but the story wasn't up-to-par.

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Film: CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY

Director: Tim Burton

Actors: Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, David Kelly, Helena Bohnam Carter, Noah Taylor, Missi Pile, James Fox, Deep Roy, Julia Winter, AnnaSophia Robb

Year: 2005

Taking the classic 1977 original family film and turning it into a uber-weird, crazy mess was not such a good idea. I don't think it was really one specific thing that turned me off, but when the credits began to run, I felt strange and uncomfortable. The kookiness of Depp wasn't enough to keep this flick afloat. Always default to the Gene Wilder version. It's terrific.

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Film: NEW IN TOWN

Director: Jonas Elmer

Actors: Renee Zellweger, Harry Connick Jr, Siobhan Fallon, J.K. Simmons, Frances Conroy

Year: 2009

I think, perhaps, Renee Zellweger has run her course. She hasn't been in a good movie since 2005's "Cinderella Man" (I'm not counting "Leatherheads" because I am pretending she wasn't in it). This snooze-fest is about an ambitious woman who travels to a small Minnesota town to help restructure a factory. Even that sounds boring. Harry Connick Jr, who I actually liked in "Hope Floats" and "Little Man Tate", is dull as a single father who... you guessed it, falls for scrunch-face-Zellweger. If you're interested in the prissy-lady-out-of-her-element kind of thing, Netflix "Overboard".

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Film: FAME

Director: Kevin Tancharoen

Actors: Kay Panabaker, Asher Book, Naturi Naughton, Walter Perez, Kherington Payne, Kelsey Grammer, Megan Mullally, Paul McGill, Bebe Neuwirth, Debbie Allen

Year: 2009

It was a nice attempt, but it just didn't do it. I was mostly bored with this remake (the 1980 version is great). The cast was okay (Bebe Neuwirth and Megan Mullally were the best), but what was most lacking were the musical numbers... which is what the film is really about. It just seemed like the same old stuff we see all the time. This could have been great. I wouldn't waste my time.

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Film: ROLLER BOOGIE

Director: Mark L. Lester

Actors: Linda Blair, Jim Bray, Beverly Garland, Roger Perry, James Van Patten

Year: 1979

Perhaps the cheesiest roller skating movie on earth... Linda Blair followed up her Oscar nominated role in "The Exorcist" with this piece of crap. Cheesy lines, cheesy costumes, cheesy skating... I'm not sure what else to say.

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Film: WHEN IN ROME

Director: Mark Steven Johnson

Actors: Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Anjelica Huston, Danny DeVito, Will Arnett, Jon Heder, Dax Shepard, Alexis Dziena, Peggy Lipton

Year: 2010

It took me... three times to actually finish this boring, pointless... dare I say it... movie. Up until a few months ago, I really questioned the sanity of some of Hollywood. I just couldn't understand the so-called appeal of Ms. Kristen Bell. I had seen her in "Couples Retreat" and "Forgetting Sarah Marshall", but she was mostly just annoying. I mostly found her to be of average talent and average attraction. But then I caught the entire "Veronica Mars" series (three seasons) last summer and I finally understood. She was fantastic in that show. Funny, dry, witty, and she possessed a likability that few actors do. So, it should be no surprise how disappointed I was with this piece of crap. Bell is so much better than this. Duhamel... I understand. He's a pretty boy (former model) who is good enough to play the leading lady's love interest, but not much more at this point. All in all (if it wasn't already obvious) skip this bomb.

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Film: GROWN UPS

Director: Dennis Dugan

Actors: Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Maya Rudolph, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello

Year: 2010

I tried. I really tried. I gave it a chance, but it was a waste of my time. It was as though there was no script and everyone just said whatever they wanted. It was uneven, oddly going back and forth between the families. Mostly I was just bored. Skip it!